Good Intentions, Bad Impact? The Truth About Toxic Positivity
You care about living healthier, thinking critically, and cutting through the noise of health and wellness hype. So why talk about something like toxic positivity? Because it turns out, this too is part of the problem.
Positivity isn’t always positive. In fact, it can quietly become one of those sneaky modern wellness traps It sounds helpful—uplifting, even. But it can quietly undermine your well-being. While a little optimism can support resilience, the pressure to “stay positive no matter what” can silence real emotions, disconnect us from our needs, and discourage us from seeking the support or change we actually need.
So let’s unpack this feel-good façade and explore what the science really says about when positivity helps—and when it becomes harmful.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity refers to the pressure to remain upbeat and happy no matter how difficult or painful a situation may be. It’s the denial, minimization, or invalidation of genuine emotional experiences in favor of relentless optimism.
Psychologists Sokal, Trudel, and Babb (2020) define toxic positivity as the act of rejecting or denying stress, negativity, or difficult emotions, even when they are entirely valid.
This can look like:
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“You should be grateful—it could be worse.”
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“At least you have a job.”
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“Just focus on the good things.”
While such statements may sound supportive on the surface, they can actually make someone feel unseen or ashamed of their emotional reality.
Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity - What’s the Difference?
Healthy positivity helps us reframe challenges, cultivate gratitude, and find meaning during hard times. But it doesn’t ignore pain—it makes space for it. Toxic positivity, on the other hand, silences or overrides difficult emotions.
For example:
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You say: “I’m having a rough day.”
Toxic response: “But you have so much to be thankful for.” -
You say: “This job is draining me.”
Toxic response: “You should feel lucky to have one.”
These responses—however well-meaning—deny your feelings and push you toward forced optimism, which can lead to emotional suppression and isolation.
In contrast, a healthy response might be: “It’s okay not to be okay. Want to talk about it?” This shows empathy without bypassing your experience.
Why Toxic Positivity Can Be Harmful
Emotions exist for a reason. They’re internal signals that help us meet our needs, set boundaries, and take action. When we constantly suppress “negative” emotions like anger, sadness, or fear in favor of forced positivity, we risk ignoring important internal cues.
Here’s what the science says about when positivity becomes toxic:
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In controllable situations, forced positivity may backfire.
A study by Troy, Shallcross, and Mauss (2013) found that “looking on the bright side” is only helpful when we can’t change a situation. In situations where action is possible, forced optimism can actually lead to worse outcomes. -
It can invalidate people facing systemic challenges.
Telling someone facing discrimination to “focus on the positives” may do more harm than good. Perez & Soto (2011) showed that positive reframing can actually worsen well-being in the context of oppression. -
It assumes everyone has the same emotional skills.
According to Ford & Troy (2019), people vary in how easily they can practice emotional regulation. Encouraging forced positivity when someone lacks those tools can leave them feeling worse, not better. -
Too much positivity can be risky.
While feeling good is important, extremes can be harmful. Research links excessive positive emotion to a greater risk of manic episodes (Gruber et al., 2008). -
Chasing happiness can lead to disappointment.
Constantly striving to “be happy” can set unrealistic expectations. Studies suggest that obsessing over happiness can create a painful gap between where we are and where we think we should be (Ford & Mauss, 2014).
Signs You’re Experiencing Toxic Positivity
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You feel guilty for being sad or anxious.
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You’re told to “just stay positive” instead of being heard.
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You suppress emotions to avoid making others uncomfortable.
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You feel isolated because no one seems to validate your pain.
How to Avoid Toxic Positivity
✅ Acknowledge all emotions. It’s healthy to feel sadness, anger, or fear—these emotions serve a purpose.
✅ Practice both compassion and honesty. Offer support without minimizing someone’s struggle.
✅ Create space for vulnerability. Listen without fixing. Validate without advising unless invited.
✅ Use positivity wisely. Positivity isn’t the enemy—it’s the timing and context that matter. Sometimes, what’s truly positive is holding space for grief or frustration.
Final Thoughts: When Positivity Turns Toxic
Toxic positivity is one of those sneaky modern wellness traps—it sounds helpful but often does the opposite. At The Scientific You, we believe real health includes emotional honesty. Being human means feeling a full range of emotions, not just the pleasant ones.
The truth is: It’s okay not to be okay. And science agrees.
“Having feelings doesn’t make you a negative person—it makes you human.”
— Lori Deschene
Science-backed insights are meant to be shared. Pass it on!
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